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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836356">I'll Say I Hate You Instead</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLMDarkFiction/pseuds/MLMDarkFiction'>MLMDarkFiction</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Universal Century Gundam, 機動戦士ガンダム | Mobile Suit Gundam (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Complicated Relationships, First Kiss, First Time, Guilt, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, M/M, Trans Male Character, Transman Garma Zabi, Verbal Humiliation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:14:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836356</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLMDarkFiction/pseuds/MLMDarkFiction</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Char hates the Zabi family. That includes Garma. Instead of focusing on how things could be different if Garma was born to any other family, Char focuses on what he can do in the here and now, and affirms what he must do in the future.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Char Aznable/Garma Zabi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'll Say I Hate You Instead</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Although this fic is unfinished, I'm still very proud of it. I might continue it if there's interest in my doing so, the whole reason I stopped is because I'm pretty sure none of my followers like or know about Gundam.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Garma Zabi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The name is enough to make Char’s blood boil </span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Garma is Char’s best friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The closest thing to a best friend the other has had since the </span>
  <em>
    <span>real </span>
  </em>
  <span>Char Aznable, and if things were to go in his favor, Garma would meet the same fate as the man whose identity he’d stolen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Garma was a victim of his birth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s something Char thinks about often, although he’d never admit it to himself, even now as he drinks alone at the bar, his thoughts disgust him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s no point in thinking of what could have been, that’s what Char tells himself at least, but it doesn't stop the thoughts from coming, even as he tries to drown them away with whiskey. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe they could have been something more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Garma had been anyone else...anyone but a Zabi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a nice thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Garma is a Zabi. And Char can’t stop himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Char will do whatever he has to until they’re all dead and gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cheat, swindle, kill. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He worries that it will never be enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He worries that when the time comes, he won’t be able to go through with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Attachment has never stopped him before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But never before has he been attached to someone the way he is Garma Zabi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the bartender cuts him off for the night, Char sighs, taking a moment to regain himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes the moment to remind himself that he </span>
  <b>hates </b>
  <span>Garma Zabi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with that he returns to the room he shares with the man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Garma is waiting. Of course he is. When Char had left the briefing so abruptly before, and failed to return to their room, the heir had been concerned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The relief floods the younger boy’s face, but it does nothing but fill Char with more anger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Char! Where were you?” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Char ignores Garma at first, beginning to strip out of his uniform. He doesn’t care about whatever it is Garma has to say, or whatever petty concerns the other has. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just wants to go to bed, at least come morning his conflicted feelings will leave him, and he can blame them all on the alcohol he’s had tonight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At least that’s the plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s in nothing more than his tank top and pants, his top already discarded when he feels one of Garma’s hands on his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The feel of it alone is enough to have him stiffen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Garma’s hands are so soft, so warm, so untouched by the world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hates it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hates him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hates everything that’s allowed him to be this way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Both men are surprised at Char’s next action, grabbing Garma’s wrist pulling it from his shoulder, and all but flipping the man to pin him onto the bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Those big, grey, doe eyes that usually look up at Char with such reverence and respect now look fearful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something about the look sends shocks of pleasure through Char. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That scared look…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wants to see more of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Char what are you-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And as always Garma wants to give his friend the benefit of the doubt. They’ve been through a lot, especially lately with all the battles, Garma wouldn’t put it past Char to be on edge to freak out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But the longer he goes pinned beneath the other man, the expression above him unreadable, eyes hidden behind his signature sunglasses, the more anxious Garma becomes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just shut up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No more words are spoken, Char’s lips encasing Garma’s own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the younger man gasps, Char takes the opportunity to shove his tongue down Garma’s throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Garma has never been kissed, if his poor but eager attempts at kissing back are any indication, but Char loves it all. He takes every ounce of affection his friend attempts at pouring into the kiss and turns it back tenfold in pure sexual aggression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Char is hard already. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knows why, even if he won’t admit it. There’s something about the way Garma is just accepting this, something about the way he’s kissing back…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s like he wants this. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Wants him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Garma wants him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He groans into the kiss before finally pulling back looking down at Garma. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Garma’s a sight to behold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just looking at him is enough to make his dick twitch in his pants. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Garma Zabi, all fallen apart from a single kiss, his face flushed, lips bruised, and his lower body pressed tight to Char’s own, practically grinding himself against the others hard erection. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Char…” His name again leaves those bruised lips, and the way Char sneers down at him shames Garma into silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He watches the other man finish stripping down, and the gulp at just the mere sight of his length doesn’t go past Char. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In fact it only serves to stroke the others ego, among other things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought I told you to shut up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Garma bites his swollen lips at the scathing tone from his friend. This is...an entirely different new side of Char, and as worrying as it is, it doesn’t mean Garma is any less wet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess if I can’t trust you to follow simple commands, I’ll have to keep you quiet with something else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even off the battlefield everything Char does is quick. Garma is given no time to react as Char’s hands knot in his purple locks, pulling the royal forward by the hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His cry of shock only aids Char, as he shoves his now shed briefs into the other man's mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There.” He laughs, titling Garma by the chin to stare up at him, Char’s other hand still buried in his hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Humiliation. It covers Garma’s flushing face, it’s clear in the tears threatening to pour from his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He likes this, and it’s humiliating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Char strokes his cheek, and he whimpers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe that can keep you quiet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Garma is overdressed, both men know it. Chars hands slip their way into his clothes, he’d already stripped from his uniform while waiting for Char’s arrival, and now he was in nothing more than his PJ’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels Garma up easily, the other man offering no resistance. His hands find nothing surprising, nothing he hadn’t already known was there from stealing glances in the shower. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The scars on Garma’s chest feel smooth under Char’s hands, proof they’d healed well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quickly though the pajama shirt is tossed away, leaving nothing more to the other man's imagination. His stomach is taught, muscles flexing in anxiety under Char’s watchful gaze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To create such a reaction…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He loves it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he knows, truly knows, he’s the first person to ever see Garma in such a state. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if you’re wet for me?”</span>
</p>
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